A Tribute to the Fallen

We all moved into this neighborhood together, ten years ago. It was brand-new and each family was delighted to be in this new little neighborhood. Across the street from us lived a young woman, a single mom whose ex-husband had lots of money and had provided the lovely home for her and her 4 year old daughter. Our youngest child, a boy, was the same age as her daughter and soon the two children were playing together.

The mom was the woman all the other women were jealous of. She was young, pretty and had a gorgeous figure. She would ask our husbands to help her with any manner of domestic problems, from a broken garbage disposal to ticks on her dog. They seemed glad to comply, and although I was a little jealous I was happy to help her out. After all, my husband had been away a lot when he was in the Navy and I always appreciated any help I could get. Besides that, I liked this person because she was sweet and generous.

My neighbor was cheerful and friendly at first, but gradually things began to change. She was a sad person who became sadder and more fragile as time passed. I guess she had been abused as a child, or so the rumors fly. It was hard to see her husband go on to the next wife and have a child. She was easily rattled and became more and more anxious. She met a man who was not particularly good for her. She started drinking and her world became small. She would work a job for awhile and then get laid off. We suspected that she might be taking pills or other drugs, but she was a private person and didn't trust us enough to unburden herself to us that way. She often trembled when she spoke, and only occasionally, the spirit of the pretty girl would return for a moment or a day.

After our neighbor went to the hospital following a seizure, or so we were told, the daughter went to live with her dad full-time. Now the five-bedroom house with the inground pool was home only to a lonely, quaking leaf of a woman, who was scared to be alone and drank and medicated herself in order to sleep at night.

Ironically it was on the occasion of a rare overnight visit by her daughter that the pretty girl slipped away from the tenuous hold she had had on this life. On Wednesday morning, September 26, 2007, the fourteen year-old daughter was out on the front porch in her night clothes awaiting emergency vehicles and her father, whom she called when she couldn't wake her mom that morning. The ambulance came, and after awhile, the crew came outside and stood around the ambulance, waiting to be dismissed. The crew chief came outside and spoke to the husband. I saw him sort of lurch backward at hearing the news, then turn and walk away a few steps. The crew chief and the policeman followed him and talked to him some more. He was in his sleeping pants and a black tee shirt, a ballcap on his head. He was chain-smoking. He went to the side of the house and reacted quietly to the news. Then he was on the cellphone, crying and talking for the next half-hour.

We watched, like ghouls, when they wheeled her black-draped body out on the gurney. They wheeled her out of the always fastidious big white house, with its vinyl and roof and shutters in colors she had picked, through her garage past the shiny SUV that she always drove, and past the artificial flowers, now faded, that she had placed in her flower bed to try make it look pretty, in a no-maintenance sort of way. They placed her into the back of a plain, green van at exactly 10 a.m. as a full moon could still be seen in the sky above her house. That same full moon rose again that night, illuminating the still, empty house. My heart ached. Yesterday I noticed mourning doves assembled across the top of the roof.

We had all been right here around her, the whole time, wishing good things for her, but gossiping still. We tried to help her when we could, but we really did not help her in a way she needed to be helped. We were too polite to take a chance and be lovlingly confrontative. We were Christians who went about our lives the best we could, after all, giving money to missions work. Indeed.

They have done an autopsy to determine the cause of death. We will go to the wake tonight and will not ask. We don't expect to be told how she died and we don't need to know how she died. We know why. There is one thing that can kill you, but only if you lack the second thing. The one thing is a broken heart. The second is the will to fight for a life worth living.

My thought now is that all flower gardens need tending. Even artificial blooms cannot stand the direct barrage of sun and rain for too long before they fade and break. Maybe we can survive with a broken heart as long as we fight for life, but maybe we can only claim a life worth living if we notice the silent flowers at our feet more often, and though they cannot ask us we might try our best to tend to them and preserve their beauty.

Welcome Home to a Late Summer's Day




This is our home right now and I am trying to capture it in each season. Season's here in southern Virginia aren't as pronounced as in some areas of the country, so we try to make the most out of the subtleties. I have little pink roses and morning glories blooming right now. Here is the house and front yard from different angles.



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We live one house from the end of the street. There is a small field at the end of the street which the farmer has planted with corn. Here is our view looking down the street from our house.




I'm sorry, but I just love cornfields! So here are two close-ups!











The view from our house looking up the other way. Note the lovely crape myrtles which line our street.












We are blessed this year to have grown some nice vegetables, and God sent us the gift of several canteloupes which no one seems to have remembered planting. Here is a couple of pics of recently picked bounty, along with a couple of curious cats. Yes, it is not right to let cats walk all over one's dining room table, but...






These photos were taken yesterday by my good buddy and sis-in-law, Sharon, who is visiting from New York. Thanks, Sharon!!!

OUR FIRST "SNOWSTORM" THIS YEAR - OR WELCOME TO OUR BORING COASTAL WINTER!!







Yes, its not exactly like those lovely winter photos I published previously, but it is ours and we get excited to see flurries and make the most of it by taking pictures and trying to catch a snowflake on our tongues!! These pictures of our house were dutifully taken by our son Kevin, age 13, who in turn had his picture taken by son Chris, 18.


What kinds of things can we do on cold winter's days? Cooking, baking, "computering" and reading are fun. I have other tasks, however, and these must be attended to, today. Mounds of paperwork from last year to be put in order and filed. Tax-related papers to be grouped and organized. Bathrooms to be attended to and laundry to be done and put away. The mundane things that keep life grounded, and for which I am very thankful. I am also thankful that our eldest son in back in the States, though he won't be able to come home until probably this summer. Here's to you, Bobby. We love you!

UPDATE ON MOMSRISING WEBSITE

For whatever reason, the feminist website I posted two articles on has decided to remove their entire forum. I am disappointed since I was hoping to at least get some kind of rebuttal. Have you heard the latest? Not only has Nancy Pelosi been hyping the part of her resume that talks about her being a mother and grandmother, but now Hillary is running for President "as a mother". Does anyone remember her disparaging the role of a stay-at-home wife and mother by saying she could have "stayed home and baked cookies, but....", but something like she chose to make her career her priority.

Of course both of these women are being lionized by the press for elevating the status of wife-hood and motherhood by abandoning their traditional roles. Conventional wisdom at its misguided best.

MORE SERENITY AND A LITTLE BIT OF FUN!

THE TIME OF QUIET AND SOLITUDE

Winter has finally set in, the Christmas season is now a memory, and the new life of busy Spring sleeps, waiting in the womb of the earth. The wise person will now take the time to be quiet, to reflect on one's own life and life in general. Though some pursue a life of endless summer, I look forward to a time of cleansing cold, and eagerly guard my time of quiet and solitude. God has purposefully given us a rhythm and seasons to live by, and they all mean to keep us healthy and balanced, in body, mind, and spirit, if we will but receive them for the gifts they are.

When people's way of life was to till the earth, winter was the one season when their labor lessened a bit, and they had a chance to rest. This was a time for being with each other, for repairing things around the homestead, for enjoying the fruits of the previous harvest, and for weddings and visiting. There was finally ample time for handwork, for making furniture or for engaging in a hobby. Since there were no electronic diversions, a person would simply enjoy gazing at the beauty of a winter day, viewed safely from the window of one's little home. The children, so needed for their valuable help around the farm, probably cherished going to school a bit more than children today, for it meant leaving the back-breaking field work behind and having the time and opportunity to read and learn and enjoy their friends. Time would also permit the winter passtimes of sledding and, along with adults, ice skating.

Even now, even if we live in a city, winter tells us to slow down, to stay off the icy roads at night, to be home and warm and safe. The long nights seek to lull us into seeking our beds earlier, thereby conserving our own energy, as well as light and heat.

I am especially glad to be a wife and mother at home at this time of year. I finally have some time to think, to catch up on little projects and to plan a garden and perhaps a summer trip. I remember my sister-in-law talking about this one time. She found winter to be a more peaceful time, when motorcycles were put up and people were less likely to be out loitering around the streets at all hours. She loved the cold weather and the muffled sounds of a world covered in snow. I very much agree and like her, love to be inside when it is windy and stormy, listening to the sounds, and being thankful for the cozy nest the Lord has provided for us. My sister-in-law Helen lives in a small and very humble house, where she and my brother have raised six children. They live in an old city in upstate NY, so its not exactly like they live in what most of us would consider our dream location. Helen, however, has made their home into a cozy, tidy, "little colony of heaven", and their children have grown to be good, responsible people who love the Lord.

Just like at home, the pace has changed and slowed in the Lord's house as well. In liturgical churches, the year is divided into several different seasons, each having its own theme and color. In my church, we have just entered Ordinary Time, the time between the great Christmas feast and the preparatory time of Lent. Ordinary time, as my pastor said, is that time when we walk out our Christian faith, taking the lessons, strength and joys of the recent holidays and showing them forth in our everyday, ordinary lives. I think this is right and appropriate, and I thank God for Ordinary time, and for being an ordinary person, free to carry on my life's work and my Christian walk in obscurity. The liturgical color for Ordinary Time is green, symbolizing life, growth and hope. It reminds me that beneath the exterior white and gray of winter, there continues an interior life of ongoing growth in the Lord, who gives us a future and a hope.

Do you feel hopeful right now? Some pundits somewhere have designated January 22nd as the most depressing day of the year, owing to the Christmas letdown, the credit card bills, the weather and other factors. Perhaps the world thinks like that and perhaps not. Would you have thought of a day that the Lord has made as deserving to be designated the most depressing of the year? It wouldn't have occurred to me.

I'd say that January 22nd should be a day that we bask in the serenity of winter and in God's love for us and that we should reflect on what the Lord says in Isaiah 18:32: "And my people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting places;"

My, but we love company!!!

We had a glorious Christmastide this year, with dinner company several times throughout the period between Christmas Eve and the Epiphany. I just thought it would be nice to share a few pictures, courtesy of my "photographer" guest and friend since we were both nine years old, Rae Lee. At this particular gathering, she, her husband, son, daughter-in-law and two grandchildren came for a Turkey dinner. Another guest, a young veteran of Iraq and my oldest son's friend, Jeremy, was also in town and able to join us. Too bad my oldest is himself in the Middle East at present, but we hope to see him back in the States soon. I hope you enjoy these. Below is the crowd at the December 30th gathering. What we usually do is set up all the food on my long counter and usually the stove top, then have everyone fill their plates and sit in the dining room (old folks), kitchen (young folks) with couches in the family used for the overflow, if any. I would love to have a room large enough for a table that could seat 20, but we have to make do with this arrangement. There were 13 of us at this meal. Christmas Eve, we do a traditional Italian seafood dinner and our neighbors come and bring part of the dinner. This year we had 16 on Christmas Eve. We started early, around 5, had our dinner, cleaned up, then they went home so we all could rest a bit, before attending Midnight Mass together. I am in the choir this year and was very thankful to be able to sing at

Midnight Mass. I think I probably got to bed around 3 a.m. Christmas morning,

but it was glorious. We always leave our outside lights and decorations on all night on Christmas Eve, and I always have to go outside before I retire for the night and just gaze at our lighted nativity scene, which seems especially beautiful on that night. I hope to get some more pictures posted soon.

The Son of God and the Children of Men

I just saw the film, "Children of Men", in which mankind finds itself absolutely infertile in the year 2027. As the film begins we learn that the youngest person on earth, an 18 year old boy, has just been killed in a barroom brawl. The world by then is a very dark, inhumane place. Immigrants to Britain are being hunted down, put into concentration camps to be deported or killed. The government is cast as brutal and duplicitous, setting off bombs in London and blaming them on foreigners in order to keep hatred fomenting. This brave, new Britain also promotes a substance called "Quietus", which one can drink when one decides for oneself "when its a good time..." (to end one's own life).

Although violent, dark and gritty, the most horrifying thing about this movie (to me) is that it could be prophetic. Within the last 20 years in the United States, men's testosterone levels have been dropping, after adjusting for age and other factors, by about 1 percent a year. No one can say why and "experts" can only speculate that some kind of pollution may be a factor. Due to sexual diseases and other less apparent factors, the fertility rate for women is dropping as well. If we add contraception and abortion, two deliberate measures taken to extinguish new life, we find a sad and troubling picture, emerging. On the other end of the spectrum, euthanasia is slowly, quietly, but increasingly gaining acceptance.

Right now, a death wish is directed toward the (potential) youngest generation and the older generation, that is to say, aimed at everybody but the "now" generation of enlightened adults who are presently running things. I cannot understand why reasonable people are buying into this mentality, believing they can flaunt natural law and somehow not reap the natural and logical consequences which must surely follow. God has given us His laws and we transgress them at our peril.

Scientists are now reporting that a "super bug" staph infection is being spread by sexual contact. Add that to the epidemic of STD's and the scourge of AIDS, the unexpected reemergence of tuberculosis, and you would think that people might be able to reign in their passions a bit and think about abstaining until marriage and then staying faithful after marriage. Or at least doing all they can to teach this to their children.

I had seen something in the recent past about the male hormone problem. When I came home from the movie, I did a simple Internet search on "testosterone levels falling". I came up with some interesting results. As you might know, women's bodies also contain testosterone, and I read that a contraceptive has been developed that works by suppressing this hormone in women. I then read another article which said that inadequate levels of testosterone hasten the development of Alzheimer's disease in people. Now, if a lay person like me can do this and see an obvious problem, wouldn't you think the medical community would say, "Hmm, better not go with that new contraceptive, and boy, we better start doing some serious investigation and try to whip up public interest, so as to get some good grant money to look into the problem of the unexplained demise of this hormone.

What is going on here? I think that when people overtly or even by apathy reject God and His life-giving laws that they reap the natural and logical consequences of their behavior. The Lord came to earth to save us. He gave us the scriptures to guide us and His Holy Spirit to illumine our thinking and inspire us to live godly lives. In Romans 1:19 and 20, we are even told that those who have never heard the word are without excuse if they behave badly, since God has imprinted creation with His nature and even the heathen can understand Him without having heard the Gospel. So we are our own worst enemies. God loves us, He warns us, but if we insist on sticking our hands in the fire, we will surely get burnt. At some point, and I fear we may have already passed it, He must remove His restraining hand of protection.

I also believe, however, that right now society is getting plenty of encouragement and "help" from the dark prince and his powers and principalities. He has successfully played "bait and switch" with a culture that bought his promises of limitless pleasure and self-fulfillment, only to find they must pay for these with their own souls and the blood of the weak and the innocent.

How else could people sit placidly by and even affirm the deliberate and slow torture and murder of a physically healthy woman who was denied food and water? When they got away with killing Terri Shiavo I wanted to get up on my roof and scream, "If you're a baby boomer, your fate was sealed today!! In ten years they'll have targets painted on us and it will be open season on old people!"

Three weeks ago in Australia thousands of birds of varied species fell dead to the ground in the midst of flight. Last week in Austin, Texas the same event occurred. In neither case, despite many autopsies, can a scientific explanation be found. Two unprecedented events, across the globe from each other, and no one can say why.

New York City got its first dusting of snow of this winter the other day. This is the latest occuring first snow since records began being kept in the 1870's. Why? El Nino? Is this the first
El Nino winter we've had in 130 years?

The late pope, John Paul the second said that we are living in a culture of death. We must devote ourselves to turning this around and lighting up the world with our love and our light. By our prayers, by our words and actions, with every breath we must do our Father's work while it is yet day. For night comes when no man can work. Please, Lord, leave the light on a little longer.

What Would the Economy Look Like?


Thinking more about being green, I believe we may just be onto something quite significant, since the political powers seem to be concerning themselves more about the environment lately. You know, however, that someone will probably argue that as green homemakers, we hurt the economy by not feverishly spending and consuming. I have to think about that for awhile, since that philosophy (that economies would sink if we did not keep spending and throwing out so we can spend more) seems to directly contradict what the bible tells us to do. The bible tells us to be good stewards, to be thrifty, not to get in debt, not to be gluttonous or wasteful.

I think that the current view on what makes a healthy economy would be OK if there was no ceiling, no finite end to our resources. But the party has to end sometime. This side of user friendly nuclear fusion, there is only so much that we can consume and only a shrinking place in which to put all the junk. Re: debt, the piper is in the foyer, ready to be paid. The Chinese are increasingly using oil to fuel their factories to make plastic Santas and lawn chairs for the rest of us to gleefully buy at the local Walmart. About the only thing the U.S is exporting now are raw materials, food and natural resources, much as when we were the 13 Colonies. But that's another subject.

How do we stay true to our biblical principles, be good stewards of our Lord's creation and have a solid, healthy economy? Any thoughts?

Oh dear, my latest post on the feminism site was answered by anonymous who simply left about 100 links to porn sites. Well, it seems I've made someone happy.

MomsRising.org Response, Part II

This is one I really enjoyed writing. My "political statement" at the end is a bit tongue-in-cheek, but hey, the basis for which I say "Gimme" is probably quite valid.
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Green Homemaker

When one of the parents is home full-time, they should get some kind of tax break for being less of a drain on the environment. As a stay-at-home person, I am "green" in two different ways.

Firstly, a full-time homemaker, in my case, the wife, leaves a smaller carbon footprint, or at least has a great opportunity to do so. My car is not making the daily commute, and I'm not using up paper and other supplies at work, and using all the resources that go into providing liability insurance for me (that costs the company money that has to be made somehow, usually by using other resources, many of them natural).

Nobody is paving over meadows or woodlands to house my children in daycare, or using up paper products and other resources on them while they are there. And of course, I am not driving them to and from childcare five times a week.

Secondly, and for me, most importantly, a full-time homemaker has more time and more incentive (because of less money) to be more frugal, which usually results in a greener lifestyle. I say more time, because I can give serious attention to perusing store ads and coupons, making my shopping list and meal plans around whole foods that are often local and on sale. I have the time to make things from scratch, using unprocessed food that is minimally processed and packaged (a biggy). Restaurants, and particularly fast food joints are big polluters, and I naturally do not depend on them, so I'm not driving there or having someone drive to deliver take-out food in paper and Styrofoam boxes to me.

I love the smell and feel of a sweet wash dried in the sunshine and fresh air, and boy, do I save a ton of electricity doing that! Plus my skin makes all the Vitamin D my body needs while I am out there hanging clothes on my solar dryer (clothesline)!

I don't need work clothes and can't afford a lot of fancy outfits so look at all the money, natural resources and sweatshop labor I'm not exhausting.

I have no problem wearing a few hand-me-down pieces of clothing. I just think of them as vintage and since I am a bit eccentric anyways, find it kind of amusing to dress a little funny sometimes.

Composting grass clippings and kitchen scraps instead of putting it in plastic bags to be hauled away to a landfill is probably one of the greener things I can do. I often throw the Halloween pumpkin down into it, or save seeds from Hubbard squash and have vines that go nuts all summer. I usually buy cucumber and other seeds at the end of the season when they are marked down and grow good crops from them, as well. I have used seeds that are two or three years old and they seem to do fine. So whatever I can harvest from these little efforts saves a few resources. I have listed several ways a full-time homemaker can be an environmental champion, and I'm sure there are several more ways, as well.

My political statement: I think my homey, green ways are red, white, and blue, and that Nancy and the boys should throw a little paper green my way.

MomsRising.org and the posts I felt I needed to put on their website, Part I

A well-meaning friend e-mailed me the following:
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"Please join me in congratulating the new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, on being the first woman, and mother, to hold this position of power. And in thanking Speaker Pelosi for acknowledging the importance of family and children in her opening speech, and also for sending clear message of support by sharing her shining moment in the spotlight in a crowd of young children.

Let's make sure Speaker Pelosi knows that when she works for our children and families we'll back her every step of the way!

*To sign the virtual card, go to: http://www.democracyinaction.org/dia/organizationsORG/momsrising/signUp.jsp?key=1884

Way to go, Speaker Pelosi! We have your back!

---MomsRising will deliver the thank you card, along with a MomsRising necklace, with appropriate fanfare and children!---



*MomsRising.org (http://www.momsrising.org) is working to build a massive grassroots movement big enough to impact the outcome of the 2008 elections and beyond. The time has come to break the logjam that's been holding back family-friendly legislation for decades. It's going to take all of us--and then some--working together to get there. "

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I did three things. First, I checked out the website, which seems to be a feminist-empowerment type of place advocating political militancy in demanding socialist-type legislation that is very pro-work for mothers, institutionalized childcare and other entitlements which I find actually detrimental to women and children. I then registered for their forums and posted two entries.
Here is the first one, which contains many familiar ideas of mine and others whom I respect:
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Now, concerning the ideas posited on this website, I guess I just take a different approach to empowering women and helping children and can only speak concretely from the truth of my own experience. That is always the best thing, though, to talk about what you really know.

I had five children and was a stay at home mother and wife to a sailor who only attained the rank of E-6 (enlisted, grade 6 out of 9). He was making about 32K in 1993 when the fifth was born. The ladies I hired to help with housework, however, were married to E-7's or above. I will be explaining how I could afford that.

My jobs prior to having children were as a secretary or waitress. These were (and mostly still are) considered women's jobs and did not pay all that well. I have only my Drama degree to thank for that! I did, however, save and make some money through the allotment of a small portion of my secretary’s salary being invested into stocks each week. This went on for about two years. The sale of these stocks formed part of the down payment on our first house. My mother and father, themselves from the lower middle-class (with a 6th and 10th grade education) but always living within their means and saving a little, were able to help us with the down payment as well. I hope to be able to help our own children in this way with their starter home. It is a time-worn and honorable thing. If we hadn’t had this help we would have stayed in as nice an apartment as we could afford.

I believe I was able to stay home and take care of my children and my home (ultimately someone does have to do this, whether its you or you hire someone), because we stayed married, didn’t have credit debt, each learned skills like car maintenance, coupon cutting, making good garden dirt from kitchen scraps, cooking wholesome meals from scratch, going to the library, doing our own home repairs, maintenance and the like, and we didn't drink, gamble, or get many of the toys that other adults were getting, and were also willing to wear hand-me-down clothes. In other words, in many ways, we used restraint. I'm sure that would be unattractive to many people, but it enabled me to be the ruler of my home and full-time mother of my children. I also didn't have to pay for gas and upkeep of a reliable second car, buy work clothes, buy lunches out, or buy processed or restaurant food at night because of being too tired from work to come home and cook. Of course not having to pay for daycare saved us a ridiculous amount of money.

We didn't ask anyone to pay us more, or expect others to pay more in taxes in order to subsidize daycare and after school programs for our children. I could have qualified for WIC but I didn't really feel I needed to pursue it. Each child always had one good pair of shoes that fit and all the milk they wanted. They were also never bored because they had each other and I was there to let them build forts and otherwise tear up the backyard, haul junk out of the garage to make “stores” and “towns” with, get crazy dirty and generally horrify our properly suburban neighbors. Another big difference between us and our neighbors, some of whom worked two jobs apiece, was that on the neighborhood yard sale days, their front lawns looked like department store show rooms while we had little or nothing to sell. I didn’t work to afford stuff to try and get rid of at yard sales.

I think that businesses exist to provide goods and services to customers and provide salaries, benefits to their employees and a profit for their owners and/or stockholders. They are always competing with other businesses in order to survive to keep paying themselves and their employees. I know that the two times when I did have to work for short periods were times when I was constantly being distracted by needs at home and was not able to be as efficient or productive as I was when I was single or just married. Why would I expect employers to just jump at the chance to hire and keep me? (And it really doesn’t matter what the reason might be why one is not as efficient and productive. If I was single and partying so much that it was interfering with my work, I would not be valued as much as the person who stayed home at night and went to bed on time.) You would feel the same way if you had to hire someone to baby-sit your kids; all other things being equal, would you want the person who was fresh from a good night’s sleep, and for whom the babysitting job was their one priority, or would you go with the one who had two full-time jobs, and who would come to your house after they had put in a full day looking after someone else’s house and children?

We made sure not to become dependent on my salary and I made it my business to get back home as soon as the crisis was over. Also, anybody who works is in submission to their boss, and their bosses on up the chain as well as stockholders, customers, and the bottom line. I thought modern women must submit to NO ONE!

I believe in helping those less fortunate, and am all for Medicaid, but I have honestly seen so many people who cannot afford health insurance but can afford many or all of the following: cable TV (which we never had for the first 21 years of our marriage), cell phones, Internet access, video game systems, lottery tickets, Nike sneakers, designer clothes, expensive cars, other electronic toys, booze and cigarettes. I know a girl who was trying to talk a couple out of entering the abortion clinic to abort their child. The couple stated that they really didn't want to do it but that they couldn't afford another child. When the counselors told them there was help for them and gave them a toll-free number to call, the man whipped out his CELL PHONE and made the call. This incident happened several years ago, before absolutely everyone had a cell phone. But that man did.

Yes, this might sound judgmental but these are all facts. We need to teach our girls to be wise and sensible about whom they decide to have children with. If people want to be pro-choice, then for God's sake, let’s be a little choosier about the man with whom we do that which makes motherhood possible. Take your time, do all you can to find the right partner, get married and try to stay that way. Marriage is a big deal to the prosperity and overall well-being of women and children. Look at the stats. Divorce makes everybody poorer, although I would be the first to say that divorce is sometimes necessary. That is where the church, the extended family and other helps should come in, and where it might be wise to for a woman to consider some kind of home business. Also, we could stand to get those old patriarchal ideals back when it comes to legally forcing a man to take care of his wife (alimony and insurance coverage as well as child-support) if he leaves her, instead of the free-wheeling no-fault crap that's in place now. That would be a really good place to get “political”.

If there is someone out there reading this who wouldn’t mind sleeping in thrift store pajamas if she could stay in them till noon if the mood struck, or would like to explore the possibility of enjoying Saturday and Sunday instead of using the weekend to catch up on all the housework and bills and laundry and shopping, then please know that you can probably do it without Nancy Pelosi’s help. If you would rather be the Queen of your home than Speaker of the House, then take a good, honest look at your situation and start learning about becoming more self-sufficient. Just do a web search on living on one income.

You can try to depend on the government or other people so that you don’t have to eat lentils, or you can eat lentils so that you don’t have to depend on anyone.

Out of the Depths
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"When other springs of comfort dry up there is always one left to us. And that, as Mother often said, is usefulness" From Stepping Heavenward, by Elizabeth Prentiss.

When in the throes of our own personal tragedies, or when we come to realize the magnitude of evil which besets us at every turn, we often are tempted to despair. It seems no comfort, no diversion, no effort of ours is available to restore our peace and equilibrium.

We are faced every day with news of car bombings, wars and rumors of wars, mass murders, crimes born of hatred and greed, betrayal by leaders who were given our trust, vicious attacks on pregnant women and innocent children, and our own personal losses and tragedies. The Amish school shootings epitomized, for me, the sad fact that there is no safe place in this world. I should have known that already, of course, but I guess I was still clinging to some unrealistic fantasy that perhaps there might be anything in this world that was off-limits to seemingly random, pointless evil.

I have now been disabused of this notion. This is rightly so, because we all need to understand that this world is not our home, and that our true home is in heaven with the Lord Jesus, where there will be no more suffering and sorrow.

Until he calls me home, however, I still need to be here, and not only to be here but to be His ambassador. I'm thinking that I don't need to have any more toys or entertainment to distract me from reality. Instead He calls me and all of us to occupy, to take back the ground that the enemy has overrun, to be the hands and feet of the God of love in the world about us.

There will be times when our hearts are broken within us, when life seems without meaning, color or flavor. What then? As Mrs. Prentiss says in her brilliant book, we are left with usefulness as a last comfort. We can do things for other people, for our families, friends, the church and community. We can write, we can make soup, we can give little gifts, and perhaps, thereby, alleviate someone else's suffering. We can hold a door open for the guy behind us, or just give someone the courtesy of looking at their face when they are speaking to us. Giving words of encouragement and kindness do not cost us anything. Equally as good, we might rein ourselves in and leave unkind, unedifying words unsaid.

We can do our work in the most thoughtful, and excellent way possible. We do this in defiance of the chaos which ceaselessly imposes itself on the universe. Though we die without having finished the work, perhaps someone will come after us to take it up. This is called progress. We can take the raw materials of our lives and make a work of art out of them, and in so doing participate in the work of Creation. Think about it. Who brought order out of chaos? Who created existence out of the void? Do we not, in a feeble, tiny way cooperate with the Creator when, despite adverse circumstances, we bring order to our homes and workplaces, or even just clean out and organize a drawer? There is something that happens when we go about our duties; we make sense out of the senseless. We can be a blessing to ourselves and others when we keep our time and our homes under control. Cosmos from chaos. Doing this can help us to not be overwhelmed by our emotions, and I contend it is more therapeutic than Prozac, and more helpful than going to a guy who will listen to you for forty-five minutes if you have the right insurance.

I am not saying there will never be exceptions, or little emergencies which pop up, but we should strive to keep reasonably organized, because it makes everyone's life a little sweeter. Doesn't everybody's day go a little better if they can find a pair of clean socks in the morning and there is milk in the refrigerator for a child's breakfast cereal? Yes, I know that cleaning out a drawer and taking something out of the freezer in time to thaw for supper will not stop a nuclear attack. But our tiny little actions are the bricks and mortar of civilization, and we must go about our lives with dogged, insistent hope. Besides, nuclear disarmament begins at home.

So, especially when we are brokenhearted, or tempted to despair, we can take some comfort in being useful. Remember, your useful, helpful actions make room for unexpected joy. When you open your heart enough to serve others, contentment and peace will inevitably enter in.

The following is from a Mennonite devotional book:

October 1
White as Snow
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Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.Psalm 51:7

There are few things that fascinate me more than waking up in the morning and finding the world covered with a fresh blanket of snow. What were open fields of plowed ground or corn stubble the evening before, are now covered with a fresh blanket of pure whiteness. Then the clouds break, and the sun shines through, and everything seems to sparkle and glitter with a million diamonds and pearls.
It reminds me that we were lost in sin, and our lives were as the barren fields—so hard and cold, so undesirable. When we came to the Lord and asked Him to forgive us, cleanse and free us from our sins, He cleansed and purified our hearts, and made us white as snow.
"Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool" (Isaiah 1:18).
Tim Yoder, Reedsville, PA
Bible Reading: Psalm 51
One Year Bible Reading Plan: Ephesians 2, Isaiah 19-21
Your life lies before you as a field of driven snow; Be careful how you tread on it, for every track will show.
~Used by Permission~
"Beside the Still Waters" - A New Book of 366 Selected Readings with One Year Reading Plan
Available from:
Vision Publishers, LLC
P.O. Box 190
Harrisonburg, VA 22803
e-mail: visionpubl@ntelos.net


From Emmarinda - I think we need to encourage those in our family as well as others, that as long as God gives you the grace to wake up another morning, that field of virgin snow, which is the rest of your life, lies before you. You can always start over with the Lord. Nothing can keep us from the love of Christ, and He is always calling to us to come home and take our place at His table. You can turn around now, and run back to His loving embrace. The path you will tread is paved with His forgiveness. I am thankful and glad that it is so, for you and me.

What I am learning from Michael
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Michael, my beloved son, is different from other people. He is a troubled boy and right now is in trouble. He simply refuses to become what we want him to be. Since he wants to rebel, he will, and since his personality is so big and so dynamic, his rebellion is of billboard-size and "shout it from the rooftop" proportions.

We don't do a good job of containing him; we never have been able to. He is the kind of person who won't be browbeat or physically disciplined into submission. We have not been consistent with him, nor been good at nipping small things in the bud. That is our sin and our shame.

We have been chastised in public for our failures, but we hereby refuse to take responsibility, nor can we claim any credit for his persistent optimism, his cheerfulness in disappointment, his own emotional depth and pain when he sympathizes with another's sad plight, be they his friend or just a stranger with hands so worn that the sight of them nearly brought him to tears. We disavow ourselves of any culpability in his heroic acts of mercy and generosity.

The court and others acting in an official capacity with Michael will speak of his poor impulse control, his risk-taking and perseverating behavior.
I would like to add to the reports already given, a few more examples of these behaviors.

His brother's school bus driver reported last year that as she was rounding a corner by Walmart she observed the following: a little dog, having obviously escaped from his house and was now disoriented and terrified, ran out into the road in front of oncoming traffic. All of a sudden, a young, risk-taking passerby leaped from the curb and with lightning speed grabbed the little dog and jumped back to safety. That passerby was Michael, who was sneaky enough not to even mention his "acting out" behavior at home that day.

On a summer Sunday morning a family visiting Wilmington, NC were accompanying their grandfather to his lovely downtown church. On the way in, one of the teenage sons noticed an obviously homeless man walking past the church and up the street. The boy said to his mother, "That guy is a street person, isn't he?" "Yes, he is", the mother returned as she also noticed the beautifully dressed churchgoers walking ahead of them. Then in a fit of impulsivity and with a grin, the boy said, "I'll be right back, Mom, I'm going to go talk to that guy and give him all my money!" He was off running before the mother could answer. All she could do was watch Michael talking to the man as they walked together for about half a block. Then Michael shook the man's hand and came running back to his family.

Perhaps some of the most outrageous acts of perseveration I can mention involve Michael's relentless empathy and encouragement when counseling other young people. I have witnessed him talking to friends who were extremely upset and ready to despair. He does not give up. In fact, when he was hospitalized last year in the psychiatric ward, he met a girl who was hell-bent on committing suicide. Attempts by staff were going nowhere, but Michael talked and reasoned and encouraged her and must have come up with something that got through to her, because she changed her mind and said that yes, he was probably right and she would likely leave there and decide to re-enter life.

So indeed, I will agree with others that Michael is ridiculous, he is entirely too much, he is way off the chart of normal behavior. He drinks, he smokes, he has a foul mouth a lot of the time. He reminds me of two men I heard about; they might have been as intelligent as Michael. They certainly were heavy drinkers and smokers who cussed a blue-streak, and at least one of them was rumored to be an adulterer.

Their names were Roosevelt and Churchill, and they quite probably saved the world.

Our son Michael surely must be held accountable for his behavior.
My point is simply that we ourselves might see only the sins and often write off those whose hearts are the very thing that God can use and to whom society itself owes a debt.

Can places be cursed?

I do not presume to know the spiritual mechanism for this but it seems there are places, as well as some unfortunate families, that seem to have a dark spiritual cloud hanging over them. They seem to draw weird and dark spiritual influences to them. Unfortunate events usually ensue.

I was thinking about one such place this past week. It is on a block up on the main road by my house. There usually seems to be some weird person or other hanging around it. I first thought there must be a bus stop there but now I looked and there is not. Also right there is a building which used to house a very successful restaurant that was part of a large chain.

They did quite a good business but one day they closed down. The owner of the franchise had died and the family would have had to do too much modernizing to bring the place in line with what the Corporate office wanted. However, just preceding this, a woman manager working there had been engaged in an illicit affair with a younger, somewhat mentally challenged employee. He ended up murdering her.

The place lay vacant for some time before another party took over and opened as a seafood restaurant. They did not do well and had to close. A third business went in there, opened for a few days and then closed. Turns out they were not compliant with fire code issues. After several months, this same business opened again.

Now at this point, early last week, I was pondering this whole thing. Years ago, when I moved to this area, a fellow Christian told me that there is a huge occult presence here, with many engaged in those activities. He said that these people believe that there is a portal here for the spirit world; a door through which spirits enter and leave our earthly plane. I jokingly told my husband that I think I know where it is.

Friday morning we woke up to the news that there had been a gun battle during the night in the parking lot of the ill-fated establishment, with six injured and one dead. When the police arrived, the shooting was still going on, and many people fled, some of which the police think may have also been injured. The gunman or men are still at large.

I suppose it is probably best just to pray for peace and for God's protection over evil forces and leave the details to Him. We face many evils every day, and I pray that we may all walk in His light and be his agents for peace.

Light, Air, Times and Seasons
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As some know, my husband is on long-term disability, so we are doing a lot of things to live frugally. Of course, this is a good thing anytime in my opinion, as now I wish I hadn't been so wasteful in bountiful times past.

I like to focus on the fact that the Lord already supplies us with many things that we don't have buy. Naturally, everything we call good in life is from His hand, but sometimes we can learn to use them more wisely.

For instance, we live in a warm climate (southern Virginia), but as soon as I can, I turn the air conditioning off and let the breeze blow through the house. Amazingly, lots of people down here never open their windows, as they feel that the house stays cleaner that way; so they go from heat to air conditioning to heat, etc. I do not ascribe to that way of thinking. To me, if you can't air your house out with God's free air, you aren't living!!

Also, I hang out my laundry as much as I can, and let the sun and air freshen, dry and disinfect my clothing. When I have brightly colored things to hang out, I turn them inside out to lessen the bleaching effect of the sun. Today, which is a wonderfully breezy, cool, dry day, I am hanging out a bunch of bed pillows along with my laundry. This really does them good to air out like this, and it is heavenly to drop down into a bed with air dried sheets and sun-freshened pillows! It doesn't take much to thrill me I guess! Plus I am using up some energy of my own to do these things and getting the air and sunshine into my own being. Wonderful!

Another thing that is free to most people is a patch of dirt somewhere. You don't have to have much and you can even get some old buckets or cut off the tops of plastic milk cartons and get some dirt and plant something. I go to the stores like K-Mart and such at this time of year and buy the packets of seeds marked for this summer's season. They sell them at a discount and they have always sprouted for me the following year. I think my bumper crop of pickling cucumbers this summer were from a pack that was at least a couple of years old. I like to stay Organic, so for fertilizer I compost the kitchen scraps and yard trimmings. Free!!

My volunteer pumpkin plant, which grew from an old pumpkin I threw out back last Fall, provided me with five pumpkins. Did you know that you can eat pumpkin as a squash and not just use it for pie? I take the whole pumpkin (I am talking about the small ones now, not the huge jack 0' lantern ones), scrub the skin with a brush and cold water and then plunk it down into the crockpot and bake it like that. Then, after its cooked, I just cut the top off, scrape out the seeds and stringy stuff and put some butter, brown sugar, a dash of salt and a bit of cinnamon inside and to the table it goes. You can do this with any type of squash as well. And of course, you can bake it in the oven instead of the crock pot.

Here is another blessed and awesome gift that our Creator gives us: Times and seasons. Think about it. The variation does our soul good, gives us something to look forward to, and relieves what can sometimes feel like monotony in our lives. If we learn to go with them instead of fighting them, we can save our "outlook" as well as our health and wealth.

For example; if we work, eat and go about our business in the day and wind down soon after dark we have several advantages. Even if you are not a morning person, but you try to get going early, you will soon find you feel better and are getting more done. If you are blessed enough to have time during the weekdays, you can do your errands and shopping with hardly any hassle from crowds and traffic. You have time to compare prices and shop for bargains, without being in the way of others who are there because they work or are in school and they "have" to be there at the busy times. My mother always used to urge me to get to the store early and to try to be off the roads and home by 3 p.m. She observed that once 3 o'clock hit, so did everybody's stress. School is out, people are starting to leave work and everyone on the road and in the store is in a hurry.

I just happened to read that a good way to avoid flu and other illnesses is to stay out of stores and the mall on Sundays because that is when the most people are there and therefore the most germs get spread. Ironically, the Lord appointed a Sabbath rest for us, when in order to honor Him and for our own physical well-being, we were directed to rest and not do business on His day. For Christians, guess when that is?

Another way to properly observe "times" is to go to bed early. This is healthier for us because there are certain hormones and metabolic functions that help to maintain our health which can only be released in darkness and work better if we go to bed early. Studies have shown that people who work the night shift are more susceptible to cancer because of this. It also just makes sense that when the family goes to bed on time, we are not wasting electricity, we can turn the heat down or the air conditioning up, and we aren't up snacking on unnecessary food half the night! We save money and our health, and its safer and more wholesome to be tucked up in your bed than running the roads till all hours.

Lastly, I like to eat what is in season where I live. If its September I'm going to be eating grapes, late summer plums and early apples; if its December I'll be celebrating citrus and in May I'm out in the fields picking strawberries. It is cheaper and I will argue healthier to buy and eat what is currently in abundance. A February nectarine from Chile is not on my shopping list.

In the summer, the sensible thing to do is give your oven a break. Eat cold salad type meals, use the top of your stove or your crockpot. I cannot stand the thought of using my air conditioning to take the oven's heat out of the house. On a Fall or Spring day, when the house is cold in the morning, it is a good time to bake or roast something in the oven to take the chilly edge off the air in the kitchen. That kind of day makes a great time to warm up the kitchen by using the oven's self-cleaning option, too. Of course, all winter long I try to give my family extra hearty food, using the oven's warmth to supplement the heat, as well as serving a lot of soups and stews. Cheaper cuts of beef, whole chickens, even ground meat all make the best stews, soups and casseroles. The less money I have, it seems the "better" I eat. Snack food is expensive, and more expensive cuts of meat are fatty. Pea soup with a ham bone in it and cornbread are considered "peasant" food, but they are really good.

Light, air, times and seasons. All there for me to use. I don't want to brag, but it feels really good to be rich!

"And [they that shall be] of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in." Isaiah 58:12
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On my 45th. birthday the Lord told me to rebuild the walls. For those who have heard the Lord speak to them you know what I mean. You are praying to Him, and you ask Him a question or lift up a concern or are just mulling over a situation in His presence and all of a sudden a thought or sentence just drops into your mind out of nowhere. Nowhere in the sense that it didn't follow, build upon or seem like the next thought in a natural progression of your own thoughts.

So I'm lying in bed and saying something like, You know Lord, I am seriously middle-aged now and what would you like me to do with my life at this point? "Rebuild the walls". Boom. He answered so quickly that it stunned me. No elaboration. But it sounded familiar, so I went scurrying to my bible, and eventually found the verse quoted above. WOW! What walls? Well, the verse talks about the old waste places, and raising up the foundations of many generations.

Oh, now this is exciting. Could it be that our Lord is wanting us (because you know I can't repair and rebuild these walls all by myself) to go back and champion all that was ever good and true and right that our civilization rests upon? Champion as in "live it" and talk about it freely. Maybe our dismay at the sorry state of morality and human behavior in our society is not just reactionary or nostalgic, unrealistic, and wrong. Maybe as a civilization we have lost so much of what is noble and righteous that we are like Israel of old during the time that the books of the law were lost. Even the memory of them had faded by the time they were rediscovered in the temple. When the king read them he was devastated to see how far astray he and the nation had gone. He now had a frame of reference, a context and something with which to compare society.

Certain words and terms such as "lady", "gentleman", "virtue", "modesty" and one's "Christian duty" have for some time been mocked and held in derision, considered quaint and hopelessly outdated. For most of our country's history, however, these terms were held in high esteem, were considered ideals to strive for, and in that striving a free and righteous nation was forged. Even the old prejudices and societal constructs, slavery and the caste system were held up to the scrutinizing light of justice and freedom, and became a thing of the past.

What pains me most as time progresses is realizing that people living now are less likely to make fun of these ideals as they are to simply draw a blank when they hear them. They are foreign ideas for which people have no frame of reference. They are unfamiliar, and therefore irrelevant concepts to the average person in the Western World.

Even the Church herself has crumbling walls. Some are even down in the basement, chipping away and setting off little explosives around the foundation. Jesus Christ, the foundation and cornerstone, the Word of God Himself, is being "spun" by the new "enlightened" way of interpreting Scripture and morals. The new enlightenment, however, is merely the old paganism in modern garb and it is leading many down its broad, smoothly paved, modern path to destruction.

I contend that as Christians living in free countries we have a solemn duty to be a light to others. In our lives and in our homes we should be trying, with God's help, to live sound and blameless lives. And now I'm going to have to get a little graphic.

Mothers, do your little children really need to see your butt cheeks hanging out of your shorts when you bend over? Young ladies, could you stop for a second and please listen to your own delicate, feminine voice as you spew out the F word like it was nothing? How about everybody's favorite expression these days: "This or that (you fill in the blanks) SUCKS". You are taking an expression which refers to giving a man oral sex every time you utter that expression.

Ladies, do you wear tight jeans and show cleavage when you go out for the day? How about when you go to church? Do you care that maybe you are tempting a married man or a young man who is trying to keep himself under control?

How about our phone manners, our driving manners, the respect we show our spouses? How do we react when our child is disciplined at school? When he or she gets a grade that we disagree with. I am talking primarily to women because I do not wish to try and take authority over a man. A lot of these little things apply to both sexes though. We are de-civilizing ourselves in the present world and I do not presume to judge, but can only shudder at what we are storing up for ourselves in the next. Think also of these little ones, whom our Savior warns us most sternly we are not to lead astray.

I speak as the chiefest of sinners. I have not been the best wife, mother or citizen, or child of God. But I want to be; and with God's help I can improve while I have breath.

What else can we do to repair the breach, to be restorers of paths to dwell in? I would love to hear others' thoughts and ideas.

As we head into Fall and Winter, I feel the need to be so thankful for our Lord, our lives, the blessings He bestows upon us, and the everyday life, filled with its work and possibilities. "Your heritage is my delight, the lot you have given to me." Thank you, Lord!

Here in southern Virginia, the stifling heat of Summer is over, and I am once again enthusiastic about making oven meals, baking, simmering meals slowly on the range or in the crockpot, and looking for the subtle changeover to Autumn that occurs in the natural world around me. I believe that for some strange reason, we can "feel" the season when it arrives, regardless of what the calendar says. This year, I am certain from traveling up to Vermont and back to Virginia in late August, that Summer ended around the 21st. of August and Fall had arrived, quiet as a mouse in the middle of the night, like a family member tiptoeing in, careful not to make noise lest he disturb the others in their slumber.

As I posted in a different forum, "What is really interesting to me are my three cats. Back in August, they too, seemed to switch into "Fall and Winter" mode by becoming lethargic, less interested in going out and more interested in just sleeping a lot. All Spring and Summer long, they are in and out of the house constantly. If I keep them in at night, they invariably start tearing the house up just before morning and I have to get up and let them out. Not any more, since about the last week of August."

So what can we do right now to make our homes cheerier, and what little thing might we do here or there to bring Christ's light to our community around us. I like to decorate my porch and door with Autumn colors and themes. I also have candles in the windows that I put on in the evenings and even on dark and rainy days. When I was growing up, we lived in a house that sat on a tiny hillock overlooking one of the busier roads in town (nothing compared to the traffic and highways today). Every weekday afternoon, as people were coming home from work, the road would invariably fill with traffic, sometimes slowing way down because of a red light up the road. My mother had a hurricane lamp that she would light each afternoon, which could be seen from the road, precisely to bring a little cheer to the weary workers, as they made their way home. I just love that sentiment.

I think she was inspired by an old man who lived on a quiet stretch of road linking our town to my grandmother's. He used to keep a lamp lit in every window of his house! We used to marvel at that. The house got locally "famous" and finally the explanation for why he did it came out in the newspaper. He wanted to cheer and light the way for travelers (he actually lived next to an old cemetery), but he always turned the lights off at 11 o'clock at night, since he felt nobody had any business being out at night after 11. I just thought that was the neatest thing.

So too, we must keep the welcome light on in our hearts for the lost and weary travelers who journey with us through this life right now. Maybe all we can do somedays is smile at those we pass on the street or in the store; maybe we could just remember to hold a door open for the person coming behind us; maybe we are disabled or so grieved or stressed that all we can do as our heads hit the pillow is think of this poor world and offer a one word prayer: "Jesus".

It matters. It counts. God is love. Spread Him around. Rebuild the walls.